Something’s missing…

It’s a weird feeling. Maybe it’s Stockholm Syndrome, or maybe just the fact that I’ve lived with anxiety and panic for fifteen solid years. But now that the medication has all but removed my panic, I sometimes feel like something is missing. That I don’t feel normal.

Not to say that I prefer the anxiety over my current state. It’s a good feeling. But I was walking into Target the other night and I kept feeling like something was missing. It finally occurred to me that it was the anxiety that I didn’t feel. I’m sure that weirdness will fade in time, and this will be my new normal. A normal normal. What a concept.

Tomorrow is my last day at my current job, and off to my new adventure. I should be terrified right now, but I’m not. I feel nothing but sheer elation at moving on from a job that I have been miserable at for several years. A job that fear kept me from leaving for so long. I feel excitement at being re-energized, and ready to get to work. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve, and I can’t wait for the next morning to receive my new gifts.

 

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5 Responses to Something’s missing…

  1. Hey , I’ve only discovered your blog recently. Is it Klonopin you’re on ? Just curious to see how affective it is. It something that has yet to be offered to me. my own meds need reviewing. That’s great youre doing so well

    Like

  2. panicmanblog says:

    Yeah, I’ve tried most. Lexapro was the worst.. GAVE me panic attacks.
    I tell the whole story, dosages and such in two other posts.. Check them out, if you wish. Hang in there.. Just takes the right combo and you will be back on track. Like I said, so far, so good. I haven’t got on a plane yet, but I feel like I just might be able to, now.

    https://panicmanblog.wordpress.com/2016/03/24/medicated/
    https://panicmanblog.wordpress.com/2016/03/28/even-more-medicated/

    Liked by 1 person

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