It has been two weeks since I started the Klonopin. I still feel really good. Not perfect, but really good. I can still get a little wiggy (is that a word?) at about the 11th hour. Just a faint anxiety, letting me know it’s almost time to take another pill. Not scary withdrawal anxiety, or “Holy shit, I’m going to die!!” panic. Just a little nervousness if I happen to be doing nothing about eleven hours after I take my meds. If I am busy, like I was last night, I won’t even notice- until the alarm on my phone tells me it’s pilltime.
I gave my two weeks notice at my job, and those weeks are almost complete. Some understandable nervousness when I came in to do that, but no feelings of flight. I knew I could do it, easily, and did. Had my orientation at my new job, and sat in a meeting room for eight hours the other day. Never would have got through that before. Would have felt totally trapped and miserable, sighing loudly all day in an effort to calm myself.
I might experiment with bumping the dosage up a bit, to see if it still knocks me out for three hours, just so I am very confident starting my new job. I don’t want any bad first impressions, if you know what I mean. I want to walk in strong, calm, and happy.
I even started driving for Uber! It’s a long way from the guy who hid away from the world in misery. I used to avoid people like the plague. And talk about trapped? Having someone hop in the back seat and tell you to drive them forty miles up the hill is pretty trapped. I will admit to some flight thoughts at that one, but I calmed myself and just did it. I have done almost thirty trips with Uber now, and each one gets better. I like the new me.
So far, so good. What’s next?